Professionally Reaching Out Without "Reaching"

Disclaimer:  This is not meant to bad mouth people who have previously reached out to me. This is me using real stories to provide examples of what I’ve experienced first hand.

I was midway into the month and had received my 6th Facebook and/or Linkedin message of the week. I let out a sigh as I realized it was another 4+ year estranged person from my past wanting advice or needing something. I was annoyed. I pondered disabling my Facebook messages indefinitely. There are many ways I’ve responded (if at all) to messages like these. It really depends on my history with the person and the tone and content of the message.

I do like helping others. Frankly, I wouldn't have half of my career opportunities if it weren't for others taking me under their wing. There is, however, a fine line when professionally reaching out to someone. All employees who value their career development value their professional reputation. What I mean by this is, "No, Felicia, I will not vouch for your work ethic when I've never worked with you before." I've literally had someone remind me of my company's referral bonus program to convince me to pass their resume along.

*Rolls eyes*

So how should you reach out to someone, you ask? I've listed out clear questions you should ask yourself in order to determine what approach you should take.

Reaching Out Road Map

#1 What is the extent of your relationship with this person?

A)    Are they a friend? (The girl you went to high school with whom you haven’t spoken to since graduation day does not count)

B)    Are they a family member?  

C)    Are they a friend of a friend?

D)   Are you just connected on social media?

E)    Are they a previous co-worker?

If you answered A or B, use your own discretion based on your family member or friend's personality/ extent of your relationship. If you answered C, I’d ask the friend to reach out to the person first to make sure it’s okay prior to you reaching out. I'd use the advice method detailed below. If you answered D or E, pay close attention to the following

#2 When’s the last time you spoke to or made contact with this person?

A)    Less than a year

B)    2-4 years

C)    Never (If this person is not the actual recruiter for the role, ABORT MISSION)

D)   4 + years

 If you answered D, you need to use the “Advice Method” for reaching out. If you answered B, you need to use your discretion dependent on the level of relationship you have with this person. If I had to use my best guess, I’d say 20% of you will probably have the option to use the “Reference Method” while the remaining 80% should stick with the first method. In my own experience, I have never flat out asked for someone to pass my resume along unless I was friends with that person.

What’s the difference between the advice and reference methods?

Advice Method: You are simply asking this person for insight from his or her own experiences. This could include but is not limited to company culture, team structure, interview process, and work/life balance questions.

Example:

Hi Veronica,

I hope you’re doing well. Congrats on your recent promotion at Company X.

I just moved to NYC from Texas and am looking for an Accounting position primarily in the fashion industry.

 I recently applied to Company X’s Senior Accountant position and wanted to see if you had any insight on the company culture and/or hiring manager?

 Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

 Thanks,

 Sara

You see what I did there? First, I used flattery. I made a reference to Veronica’s recent promotion showing her that I do care and pay attention to her own career advancements.

Second, I was straight to the point. In two sentences, I explained why I was reaching out to her. Notice I did not ask her to pass my resume along. I left the dialogue open so that she could decide whether or not she was comfortable forwarding my resume along.

Reference Method: You are directly asking this person to pass your resume along to the hiring manager and/or HR team at his or her company.

Hi Claire,

I hope you’re enjoying your new job at Company x. We miss seeing you here in the office!

I just saw a job posting for a Senior Accountant role at Company x. Based on our working history together, do you think it would be a good fit for me? If so, would you be willing to pass my resume along to the hiring manager? I’d greatly appreciate it.

Thanks,

Sara

My mom used to always tell me that it's not about what you say but how you say it. Before sending your email, read it out loud and make sure the tone fits how you'd want someone with whom you have no relationship to ask you for something. 

Reaching out is the best way to get that new job, but just remember, no one in this world owes you anything.

B